The B3T!
by UrBaN AnGeL 9896
Summary: In which the characters participate in a talkshow where YOU get to send in your questions and comments to them! Full summary inside, rated T to be safe. Please R&R!
1. Prologue

"…And…CUT!"

Everyone present let out a sigh of relief, finally allowing their postures to relax.

"Man, why'd we he have to keep pumping our fists like that?" Misaki whined, massaging his arm. "It's gone completely numb, damn it!"

"Can I be un-dead now?" asked Mikoto in a bored voice, stepping out from behind the scene.

He suddenly found a pair of unwelcome arms wrapped around him. "That was GREAT!" yelled a slightly hysterical Director-san, tears streaming down in miniature waterfalls as he practically crushed the Red King. "The last part had everyone backstage crying! Suoh Mikoto, you were SEN-SA-TIONAL!" he turned to Reisi, who had just walked in. "And YOU! The agony on your face, the conflict of having to kill a friend in order to save him…gah! I soaked three handkerchiefs!"

"R-Right…" Reisi slowly inched away from the man.

"_Any_way," Producer-san stepped in and saved them all from their weeping boss, successfully prying him away from the temperamental HOMRA leader before he got burnt to a crisp. "Congratulations on finishing the first season of K, everyone, all of you did an excellent job. You can now take a well-deserved vacation until season two comes out!"

Relieved sighs echoed around the room, along with the obligatory Japanese compliment of "Thank you for your hard work" being exchanged with handshakes.

Saruhiko walked up to Director-san. "Speaking of season two…mind if you give me my script early? I heard that there's a part where Misaki goes, 'What do I do now, Saruhiko?' – and I wanna know what that's all about. Oh, and I tell Munakata something along the lines of 'I don't know where I belong anymore', right?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Director-san held up his arms in an 'X' formation. "There are SPOILER issues we'll have to deal with, you know! Who's gonna watch it if we let all the secrets out now, huh?"

Misaki smirked as he watched Saruhiko get scolded. "Heh, stupid monkey."

He immediately regretted it when he saw that psycho smile light up Saruhiko's face, though. "What was that, Mi~sa~ki~?"

"Now, now," Yashiro smiled cheerfully. "Let's not fight! We've worked well together for the length of 13 episodes! Let's continue the friendship!"

"It's like you live in a happy little bubble…" muttered Kuroh, facepalming himself.

"Neko wants rice crackers!" that random comment coming from their female clansman.

A soft 'ahem' caught the attention of both cast and staff, and they all turned to where a young lady with long, waist-length red hair beamed at them. "Congratulations on finishing the first season!" she smiled, shaking hands with both Director-san and Producer-san. "I'm Interviewer-san, from the Blah Blah Blah Talkshow, also known as the B3T! I'm here to invite all of you as guests on the show for a special segment we're doing on the [K] Project!"

"Oh, wow!" Director-san gushed. "I've never been on a talkshow before! This is so exciting!"

Interviewer-san sweatdropped. "Actually, Director-san…it's for the cast only…"

Director-san absolutely deflated, an aura of gloom surrounding him. "I see…"

"So!" Interviewer-san turned to all of them. "Are you guys willing? I promise it won't take too long!"

"Sure!" smiled Yashiro. "What do we have to do?"

"Well," Interviewer-san scratched her chin thoughtfully. "You sit in a couch and get a lot of questions asked about you, and you answer them!"

"Doesn't sound much different from the interrogation room back at headquarters," Seri mused. "Minus the couch, of course."

Now everyone sweatdropped. "Heartless woman…"

"There's a twist, though!" Interviewer-san announced dramatically, turning to face the screen of the computer/laptop/tablet/cellphone that you are currently reading. "The questions are going to be from _you_! You can ask the characters questions, send comments about the show, or even just spout random nonsense but I promise you won't be ignored!"

"Interviewer-san…" Yashiro cocked his head. "Who are you talking to?"

"And!" Interviewer-san ignored him. "We're inviting one character per episode, so make sure you address your fanmail to the person in question only! Hmm, whom should we start with for episode one…?"

"Shiro, of course!" Neko clapped her hands together. "Because Shiro is the main character!"

"True, but he's not really popular," said Kuroh. "No offense…but the reviewers…I mean fans…might get bored if we don't open with a character they're _really _crazy about…"

Interviewer-san snapped her fingers. "I know just the person!"

Menacingly, she stalked over to Suoh Mikoto and wrapped her hand around his shoulders. "How about it, King~?"

Mikoto sighed in his usual bored way. "…Whatever."

"There you have it, folks!" said Interviewer-san giddily. "So, send in your reviews – I mean, fanmail – with questions and/or comments for our dear Red King, Suoh Mikoto, and be sure to tune in to Episode One of B3T's [K] Project Special tomorrow at whatever time Author-san is free to update!"

Anna walked up to the screen. "Don't miss it."


	2. Episode 1 - Suoh Mikoto

"Welcome to the first episode of the B3T: K Project Special!" Interviewer-san announced enthusiastically. "First of all, I have a special message from Author-san who apologizes for the late update, which was caused by a few irritating viruses that decided to follow the K Character Interviews that she had downloaded into her computer! Now then, let's welcome our guest for the night, the legendary leader of HOMRA, Suoh…Mikoto!"

The audience burst into applause as Mikoto entered and took a seat. "Firstly, Mikoto-san," Interviewer-san smiled at him, handing him a glass of some red liquid. "Drink this. It will help your throat during the entire process," to which he obliged without noticing the evil glint in her eyes. Once he had downed it, she grinned and jumped up triumphantly.

"SUCCESS! You just drank the OOC TRUTH SERUM! It will make you answer all of our questions truthfully even if it's totally out of your character! Banzai!"

"…Eh?" Mikoto raised an eyebrow, then put the glass away in irritation. "…Fine, let's get on with it."

"Hai~!" Interviewer-san smiled and held up a few cards. "Our first set of questions is from…Kinky Kitty! She's so dedicated that her penname has _two _K's in it! Wow!" Some more applause followed. "Alright, your first question is this: Are you really dead in season two?"

Mikoto blinked. "I'm not allowed to give away any spoilers, but, there is a line in the script where Anna says, 'Mikoto's red is still warm,' so you can interpret that as you will. Also, at one point Munakata says 'Is that what you would do, Suoh?' and it's unsure whether he's talking to himself or me."

"A side note from Author-san!" Interviewer-san smiled at the screen. "The above-mentioned lines as well as the ones that Saruhiko said in the prologue aren't fake! She found it on twitter, where someone posted them as official teasers released by the K Production Team, unless it's that person's very cruel way of getting our hopes up! Moving on!" She turned the card. "Next question: What did you say to Munakata Reisi as you were dying?"

"The lines addressed to Anna at the end," replied Mikoto. "It's a technique used in many anime. The lines were muted when I said them, but they were revealed later. I think people got confused because I wasn't shown to say them directly to Anna, so they probably thought she read my mind or something. To those that have not seen the interview on YouTube, this misunderstanding has been cleared up by Producer-san and the others."

Interviewer-san pouted. "It would have been much more fun if you had said something more personal to Reisi!"

Mikoto shrugged. "I'm not the one that wrote the script."

"You're no fun. Next: Did you go to Ashinaka Gakuen knowing that you would die?"

"Yes, I did."

Interviewer-san blinked. "…Don't you think that answer was a little too casual?"

"No, I don't."

She sighed. "Eh, never mind…next: Before you died, did you have any last words for your clansmen?"

Mikoto turned to look at the HOMRA members eagerly waiting for his reply in the audience, while Interviewer-san mentally did a little evil laugh at the thought that the OOC Serum would have worked its magic by now. "Well…I suppose…" he hesitated. " 'I am HOMRA. We are HOMRA.' I'd like them to remember that. And…that even if they have to split up, I'd like them to leave HOMRA carrying nothing but the good memories of their time spent together, leaving behind the nightmares. I'd like them to look back on their time with HOMRA without regrets."

Interviewer-san sniffed and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. "That's so touching!"

Mikoto blushed in embarrassment, hastily turning away. "…Whatever."

"Next question: Did you purposely get yourself killed in order to be with Totsuka-san?"

Mikoto hesitated to answer that. "…It's selfish to think that way…" he said as he glanced at his clansmen. "I knew that my death would affect many people, but still…I suppose I did want to tempt fate when I pushed my limits that day. I just didn't feel like living anymore." He closed his eyes and turned away from their downcast faces. "…I'm sorry."

The serious moment was interrupted when Interviewer-san started bawling. "OH, MIKOTO-SAN! You're just such a melancholy person! It's so sad and that's what makes it so beautiful! Oh, can I hug you?"

"…No."

"Right…next question…oh, we're done with Kinky Kitten's set! Thank you, Kinky Kitten!"

Another round of applause followed as Interviewer-san fished out some more cards. "The next set is from D . GrayManGRL, whose avatar is a snapshot from Scissorhands with the super hot Kamui Gakupo and Gumi! Author-san says she loves Vocaloids too! Rock on! Anyway, here are her questions. Question one: What is your relationship with Reisi?"

Mikoto smirked. "Munakata? We went to the same high school. He was student council president. I was the resident delinquent. You can imagine the rest."

"Interesting!" Interviewer-san gushed. "So he got you in trouble a lot, did he?"

"On the contrary," there was a mischievous twinkle in Mikoto's eyes. "I'd do a lot of things against the rules, but for some unfathomable reason, Munakata would make sure the teachers never found out and instead lecture me himself."

"Aw, that's so sweet! So you were friends?"

"…In a weird way."

Interviewer-san turned the card. "Next question: How did you and Kusanagi Izumo meet?"

"Izumo was my senpai by two years, in high school," said Mikoto. "He dealt…let me rephrase that, he _still _deals with some very shady people in…_special _business, so he needed all the help he could get in beating the crap out of them if things got out of hand. You could say we had each other's backs."

"…OOC Mikoto is freaking me out…" Izumo whispered from offstage. "Oi, don't get mushy in front of all the readers! You'll lose fans!"

Mikoto rolled his eyes. "I can't help it. Wait till it's _your _turn."

"Yeah, Kusanagi-san, the fangirls are loving it!" Interviewer-san stuck out her tongue. "Next. Ooh, a good one! Have you ever fallen for someone?"

Mikoto hesitated. "…You could say that."

The audience all gasped and squealed, and then fell silent. After about a full minute of waiting, Interviewer-san sighed. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Well, aren't you gonna tell us who's the lucky person?"

"That wasn't in the question," Mikoto smirked.

Interviewer-san glared at him. "Next question! Why is it always the Red King's sword that falls? Now, for this question, since Mikoto has no idea himself, we've invited a very special, well, _special _guest…please welcome, Professor Adolf K. Weissmann!"

Everyone cheered as the white-haired professor entered. "Well, Isana Yashiro and I are one and the same, but I think this body suits being a professor more than the other one," he cleared his throat. "Back to the matter at hand…with a little warning to readers that don't want to read boring science lectures, please scroll down. Now then…when a Sword of Damocles chooses a king, that person gets the respective powers of their color, but only to a certain extent."

He materialized a chalkboard and drew a stick figure, a sword, and a circle around them. "This circle is what we call the Dresden Slate (fans of K Project call it aura). You could say that it's literally the scope of a king's power. In other words, it's the extent up to which a king's power can reach. The maximum diameter at which the circle can extend is called its Weissmann Deviation Limit. If the Dresden Slate expands beyond this limit, it destroys the king's body physically. One more thing I forgot to mention – the Dresden Slate actually supports the Sword of Damocles. If you were to think of the Dresden Slate as a circle, the Sword of Damocles would be its center. So, when a king dies, the Dresden Slate disappears and causes the Sword of Damocles to fall on them. That's where I got the name for the sword, actually, after the Damocles of Greek Mythology who – "

"GET TO THE POINT, ALREADY!" Interviewer-san glowered at him.

"Hai, hai," Adolf turned back to the chalkboard. "So, I have no idea why, but a little flaw in my research happened – I think you saw it on episode nine, when the mouse representing the red Dresden Slate collapsed? – that was because the red aura has always been weirdly _way _too powerful. So, unless the Red King can refrain from using his powers too much, it can get out of control and cross the Weissmann Deviation Limit, thus destroying the Red King's body and, in turn, causing the Sword of Damocles to collapse." He bowed to the audience. "Which, by the way, would not have happened had Mikoto-san been smart enough to listen to Munakata-san's advice. No offense. Thank you!"

Some more applause followed as he exited the stage. Interviewer-san turned back to Mikoto. "Well, that was long," she smiled. "And it also marks the end of D . GrayManGRL's set! Thank you, D . GrayManGRL!" the audience clapped. "Our next two questions are from Sleepyface and GRRDOG respectively. Let's start with Sleepyface, who has an avatar that totally contradicts his/her name! His/her question is, What was your relationship with each major member of HOMRA?"

Mikoto let out a bored sigh. "…Do I have to mention every one of them?"

"Just the major ones," replied Interviewer-san. "You know, Yata-san, Shohei-kun, Chitose-kun…"

"I know them," Mikoto waved her away. "It's still too long."

Interviewer-san let out an exasperated sigh. "Alright, alright! I'm sorry, Sleepyface, but it appears that we'll have to take your question in the general sense! Encompassing all of them, what is your relationship with your clan, Mikoto-san?"

Mikoto thought for a while. "…Well, I've always been told that I'm like a father to them."

"Father, huh?" Interviewer-san waggled her eyebrows teasingly. "Ooh, who's the mother?"

Mikoto smirked. "…Kusanagi."

Everyone sweatdropped. Mikoto shrugged. "He's the one that's always yelling at them to clean their rooms and play outside, and not to forget to wear their jackets when it's cold, and – "

"ALRIGHT! THEY GET IT ALREADY!" Kusanagi fumed at him.

"_Any_way…" Interviewer-san cut in. "Here's one last question, from GRRDOG, who appears to be a Naruto fan like Author-san. What is your relationship with Anna?"

"Anna's parents died in an accident, her Aunt Honami, my sensei at the time, left her in our care."

Interviewer-san glared at him. "Not _that_! What GRRDOG meant was, how do you feel about her?"

"I don't mind her."

"NO! I mean, do you have feelings for her?"

"Feelings? What kind?"

Interviewer-san facepalmed. "Never mind! Let's end this already, this guy is no fun!"

She turned to the screen. "So, thank you for tuning in to our first episode, with Suoh Mikoto as our freakishly evasive guest! Don't miss the next, where we will be inviting the leader of SCEPTER-4, Munakata Reisi! Author-san thanks everyone who has reviewed and apologizes for making the answers sound more know-it-all-ish rather than funny (she's not good with humor). Please send in your questions for Munakata Reisi, and, until next time, this has been…"

All the K characters crowded up the screen. "THE BLAH BLAH BLAH TALKSHOW!"


	3. Episode 2 - Munakata Reisi

The opening tune came to an abrupt halt as Interviewer-san was heard screaming.

"TAKE IT ALREADY, YOU JERKS, BEFORE I FORCE IT DOWN YOUR THROATS!" she yelled, while the audience whispered amongst themselves.

They heard another voice whispering something along the lines of, "Your mic is on, Interviewer-san!" before some spluttering and crashing noises ensued. Finally, she emerged from behind the huge screen, sheepishly smiling at the audience. "Sorry about that, but some of the cast were being a little…_difficult _about drinking the OOC Serum!" she waved like it wasn't a big deal. "Actually, we felt that it would be troublesome for _all _of them to drink it whilst wasting precious screening time, so why not make all of them down it beforehand, right? And if any of you precious little characters have a problem with that, take it up with the evil scheming minds of Author-san and xXChild-of-DemonXx !"

Munakata Reisi entered as well, taking a seat in the couch opposite hers, looking somewhat shaken. Scary…

"Now then, welcome back to the BLAH BLAH BLAH TALKSHOW!" Interviewer-san was all smiles. "In today's episode, we have with us the leader of SCEPTER-4, the Blue King, Munakata Reisi!"

Everyone clapped and cheered. Reisi smiled and gave them a slight wave.

"Alright, wasting no time, let's begin, Chief! Our first question for today is from animeparody! A round of applause for animeparody, please!" Claps and cheers followed. "But first, a special message from Author-san! She regrets to inform animeparody and future reviewers that this talkshow will not be accepting requests or dares! Questions and comments only, please! Your question is: Do you like driving fast in the SCEPTER-4 van?"

Reisi pushed his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose. "Hmph. Reckless driving is the cause for 75% of motor accidents daily. I am not that irresponsible."

Interviewer-san sweatdropped. "…Always playing by the rules, huh?"

"Of course." Reisi nodded. "Rules are created in order to ensure that chaos and – "

"Uh, yeah, we're running out of time, next question!" she hurriedly cut in, sparing everyone the torture of _that _speech. "S-So…this question is from LolyGothica! Their penname sounds synonymous to Anna-chan, ne? Kidding, kidding…anyway, the question is this: How do you feel about the fanfiction circulating about a relationship between you and Mikoto-san?"

"…Such a thing exists?" Reisi's ebony eyebrow twitched. "I shall hunt down the knave that started such nonsense and personally kill them…"

"Eh, Munakata-san," Interviewer-san pouted. "Getting off the point, could you not be so formal on camera? Fans want to hear your casual side as well, you know…"

"This is my casual side," Reisi blinked.

Interviewer-san glared. "Well, be more like Mikoto-san! Now rephrase your sentence or I'll force down more of that serum!"

"Er…r-roger…" Reisi shuddered. "Um, 'I'm gonna kill the jerk that wrote that crap'?"

Everyone sat eerily still in awkward silence. Interviewer-san hid a giggle. "Somehow, it doesn't suit you, does it…? Anyway, moving on…the next question is from anime1hinata, and Author-san has run out of cool quips to introduce this person with, so, let's just all thank them for reviewing!" Applause followed. "The question is: How are you coping with Mikoto-san's death?"

Reisi closed his eyes. "I feel he was an idiot to die in such an unsightly manner."

"And I feel that sentence has a ton of hidden meanings," Interviewer-san smiled. "You mean…?"

Reisi's eyes narrowed. "…That man has no regard for his own life. Only worrying about the lives of others."

"O-ho-ho-ho," Interviewer-san chuckled teasingly. "Looks like someone is hiding the fact that they're _super _sad and depressed by pretending to be angry and blaming others, _hmm~_!"

"Too close…" Reisi shoved her face away. "Do refrain from getting too close!"

"Avoiding the question, are we?" Interviewer-san waggled her eyebrows. "A-ha-ha, looks like LolyGothica also received an answer to their question, _ne~_?"

"…What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing," Interviewer-san shrugged. "Anyway, the next set of questions is from our second-time reviewer, Kinky Kitty! And as expected of such a dedicated fan, she's sent a lot as usual! Let's give her a hand!" The audience clapped and cheered. "Alright, here is question one: How do you feel about your position making you choose between duty and personal feelings?"

"All personnel of SCEPTER-4 have been trained to keep their emotions in check," he replied. "As their king, I must model that. Justice comes first before anything else. For us, justice and duty are one and the same. So we cannot afford to allow anything else to get in the way."

Interviewer-san snickered. "Ah, avoiding the question again. Never mind, we'll pry it out of you eventually! Question two: Does SCEPTER-4 hold holiday parties?"

"We have an end-of-the-year celebration on New Year's Eve," Reisi answered. "And all the personnel are required to show off a skill. No one really understands my fascination with puzzles…"

"Solving puzzles isn't a skill!" Interviewer-san sighed. "…Okay, maybe it is, but it's not a skill that can be showcased!"

"Eh? But no one minds watching Awashima-kun stitch things…"

"…I bet those pervs wouldn't mind watching her even if she was just standing there like an idiot," Interviewer-san's eyebrow twitched. "Question three! The question we've all been mentally asking! Why did you let Mikoto-san get off the hook when you were president back in high school?"

Reisi blushed in embarrassment. "…Like I said before, that person does not care about his own wellbeing. He never bothered if he got in trouble at school as long as his friends weren't harmed." he frowned, something of a glower showing on his face. "I just didn't want him to get hurt beyond what was necessary. He did that enough by himself."

Interviewer-san squealed. "Ah! That must have been why you tried to stop him from avenging Totsuka-san's murder as well, ne?"

Reisi turned away. "…I suppose."

"Cute!" Interviewer-san turned the card. "Alright, question four says: Did you attend Mikoto-san's funeral?"

"Eh…I wouldn't know…season two hasn't started yet…we don't even know if he's really dead…" Reisi blinked. "But if he is, then I probably did."

"True, true," Interviewer-san continued reading. "Next question: When did you first get hooked to solving puzzles and such?"

"Hmm, I've been solving them for as long as I can remember," he replied. "Puzzles represent perfect order, a perfect solution, something perfect that can be created from a mess of disorder – "

" – Too many 'perfects' in that sentence," Interviewer-san sweatdropped. "Alright, that's all from Kinky Kitty. Thank you, Kinky Kitty!"

The audience burst into applause again. "Our next question is from Xiang Yun, and Author-san wants to tell them that she is a quarter Chinese and her grandpa's surname was Xiang, too! Their question is: Are you afraid of Awashima Seri's unique choice of food?"

Reisi shuddered as his mind filled with red bean paste. Red bean paste in alcohol, red bean paste in sandwiches, red bean paste in rice, red bean paste in ice cream… "…You could say that," he nodded.

"Ah, but who wouldn't be?" Interviewer-san shook her head. "Up next is a set of questions from xXChild-of-DemonXx, whom Author-san thinks should be her new BFF! Not just because of their appreciation for the _extremely _useful OOC Serum, but also because they agree with Author-san on the fact that Munakata-san is a…well, we'll get to that," she winked. "Question one: What are your feelings towards Mikoto-san and Awashima-san?"

"Suoh and I have a complicated relationship," he frowned, then rephrased that. "A complicated _friendly _relationship, I mean. As for Awashima-kun…" he trailed off, blushing slightly. "Well, Awashima-kun is…that is to say, it's not as though…a-and anyway, she already has…guh…can I please skip this question?"

"Naughty, naughty," Interviewer-san grinned at him. "Aren't you a government worker? Isn't she your subordinate? Isn't that sexual harassment?"

"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU DO TO SERI-CHAN?!" came a shout from backstage, from Izumo, who had only heard the last part.

"N-Nothing!" Reisi blushed furiously. "I am not as indecent as these HOMRA – "

A huge hand materialized out of nowhere and covered his mouth shut. "Ah, sorry, Interviewer-san, but that hand is not going to disappear until you apologize…Author-san can be very temperamental about HOMRA bashing…"

"Ah! What a great Author-san!" Yata Misaki grinned from backstage.

Reisi made a muffled sound from behind the hand that sounded vaguely like 'sorry' and the hand immediately disappeared. Interviewer-san let out a nervous laugh. "Ah, it's that time of month for Author-san, you see, please don't mind…anyway…your next question is, do you ever lose the glasses and (infuriatingly) calm attitude to just kick back and relax?"

"Eh? I am relaxed," Reisi blinked.

Interviewer-san cupped her hand around her mouth and whispered to the screen. "No use, xXChild-of-DemonXx, this guy is hopelessly deluded…" she turned back to him. "Next question, what went through your mind before you killed Mikoto-san?"

"Well…" Reisi took a deep breath. "To be honest, nothing really went through my mind…I sort of blanked out, the only thought left was that I couldn't let Suoh die by that sword. It can be any other sword, just not _that _sword."

"Why was that?"

"Because…" he turned away. "…I know how to kill painlessly. Suoh did not deserve to be crushed under the weight of the Red Sword of Damocles and die a slow and torturous death." He pushed his glasses. "Even if he is a barbarian," he added as an afterthought.

"That is _so _sweet," Interviewer-san gushed. "Ah, it almost makes me wish I didn't have to ask you this final question…"

Reisi blinked. "Why? What does it say?"

Interviewer-san chuckled nervously. "Eh…you see…xXChild-of-DemonXx wants to know…why you're such a jerk…"

It took a few seconds for that to sink in. Reisi had an anime vein popping out of his head. "With all due respect, Interviewer-san, I do not appreciate being called a jerk…"

"NOW HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" another voice sounded all of a sudden, and everyone turned their heads, trembling in fear before the mighty and unconquerable Author-san. "Do you _want _me to list all the occasions you were a jerk? Locking Mikoto-san up (even if he did want you to), calling him a barbarian, telling him that sharing the same air made you want to throw up, calling HOMRA a band of useless hooligans…"

"That last part was Fushimi-kun, not me…"

"BUT YOU THOUGHT IT!" Author-san pointed a finger at him accusingly. "Well, xXChild-of-DemonXx, I have the answer to your question! With a prior warning to all fans of Munakata Reisi and SCEPTER-4 to scroll down past this! It's because he's a stupid goody-two-shoes stuck-up thinks-he's-all-that wannabe-cop!" She panted heavily.

Everyone in the studio sweatdropped. "Eh, Author-san, you should probably take a walk and cool off…" Interviewer-san said warily as she led her away. "Anyway, thank you to everyone that tuned in to this show! Join us next time, when we will be inviting HOMRA's Shock Troop Leader, Yata Misaki! Don't forget to send your fanmail to Yata-chan, and, till next time, this has been…"

Audience and cast alike turned to shout. "THE BLAH BLAH BLAH TALKSHOW!"

The shout faded away as Author-san yelled at the top of her lungs, "Let go off me! This show is nothing without me! NOTHING, I SAY!"

And…fade out.


	4. Episode 3 - Yata Misaki

"Presenting…the vanguard of HOMRA, Yata Misaki!"

The audience erupted into cheers as the ginger-haired teen stepped in, blushing furiously as he took a seat.

"Now, normally, I'd start with introductions and welcomes," Interviewer-san smiled at the screen. "But it appears that Yata-chan here is the most popular among all the K characters so far, because he's got _way _more fanmail than anyone else! Therefore, we'll have to go through everything really fast today in order to finish up on time!" She rummaged around her pocket until she found a card. "Ah, but there is a notice here from Author-san! A lot of reviewers asked the same question twice, so, she's gonna skip all questions that have already been answered once, okay? So, Yata-chan, are you ready?"

Misaki gave everyone a thumbs-up. "Go right ahead, Interviewer-san!"

"Got it! The first question of the day is from animeparody, who asks: How come Fushimi-kun isn't allowed to call you Misaki but you get to call him Saru or Saruhiko all the time?"

Misaki spluttered. "Dude, have you guys not _heard _the way he says it?" he flapped his arms around indignantly. "I guess it would be fine if he just said 'Misaki' like normal people! But he has to go and do the whole 'Mi~sa~ki~' thing and drag out the 'ki~' which, by the way, makes him sound like a drunk monkey laughing! How would he feel if I went around saying 'Sa~ru~' all the time!?"

"Ah…too loud, Yata-chan, too loud…" Interviewer-san winced. "But I guess that's what makes you _you_, huh? Anyway. The next set of questions is from Kinky Kitty, once again! Question one: Why are you scared of girls?"

Misaki blushed. "What the hell!? I'm not scared of girls!"

Interviewer-san rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, why else can't you talk to them?"

"B-Because!" Misaki fumed. "I've never talked to girls before! I don't have a mom or sisters so I wouldn't know how!"

The dangerous glare coming from Interviewer-san was hard to ignore. "What about me? I'm a girl, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but you're old – " Misaki cut himself short when he felt the evil aura. "Uh…I didn't mean _old _old, just…old_er_…than the girls from before…"

Interviewer-san deflated. "Ah, the children these days…have they no respect for the elderly? Do they not understand…?"

Misaki sweatdropped. "Um…Interviewer-san…wasn't it you who was saying that we had to rush through the questions today?"

"Oh! Right!" Interviewer-san hurriedly sat back up. "Next question! When did you learn to skateboard? Who taught you?"

"Hmm…" Misaki rubbed his chin. "I think I was ten when I learnt how…I used to go to the neighborhood park and watch the older kids do it, then I caught on by myself."

"Amazing!" Interviewer-san complimented. "That's called talent."

"Heh heh…" Misaki grinned sheepishly.

"Question three: What kind of childhood did you have?"

Misaki frowned. "Isn't that a little too personal?"

"Oh, come on, don't be shy!" Interviewer-san waved her hand. "It's fine, it's fine."

"Well…that is…Author-san probably doesn't want to write anything that can potentially be wrong once season two comes out, anyway," replied Misaki. "But she has told me take the opportunity to advertise an awesome fic by STech called 'To live again' which will answer Kinky Kitten's question for the time being. Next!"

"Hai, hai…the next question…ah, this one," Interviewer-san giggled. "Yata-chan, tell us how you felt about sharing an indirect kiss with both Fushimi-kun and Mikoto-san in the flashback from episode 13!"

"INDIRECT KISS!?" Misaki's cheeks flared with color. "I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT THAT WAY! THIS IS BAD! MONKEY COOTIES! _MONKEY COOTIES!_"

"Tch. Who's the one with the cooties," Saruhiko glared at Mikoto, who was sitting just across from him.

Interviewer-san laughed. "Ma, ma, no need to so shy~!"

"AND STOP WITH THE '~'! YOU SOUND LIKE THAT STUPID MONKEY!"

"Alright, alright, calm down," said Interviewer-san. "Let's move on. The next question is from a guest reviewer who did not reveal their name; well, it's a good thing I forced you to drink that OOC Serum earlier, because it says: Do you honestly hate Fushimi-kun?"

"I would've given you an honest answer even if I hadn't drunk that thing!" Misaki fumed. "Of course I don't hate him! I never hated him! He's the one that took off, anyway! And that too, to join the Blues! I mean, if he really hated HOMRA, couldn't he have just left and became a regular person rather than joining up with our enemies? It's not that I hate him, I just want to know why he left…"

Interviewer-san sighed, along with the rest of the audience _and _cast members. "Clueless-ness has its limits, Yata-chan…"

"Eh?" Misaki blinked. "Am I missing something here?"

"Never mind, never mind. Ah, Guest-Reviewer-san also said to tell you they love you very much!"

"Yeah, thanks…"

"Next question. This set is from anime1hinata. Their first question is, do you miss Fushimi-kun's friendship?"

"Of course I do! Why else would I always nag him to come back to HOMRA? And, like I keep saying, _he's _the one that left, so why are you asking _me _these questions!?"

The audience and cast sighed again. "Misaki will never understand me…" Saruhiko muttered.

"Being an idiot is what makes Yata-chan himself, after all…" Izumo sighed.

"I _really _don't get what's going on here," Misaki huffed. "Anyway, can we move on, please?"

"Yeah. Next question: if you were given the choice to either forgive Fushimi-kun and become friends again or continue holding a grudge against him thus remaining enemies, which would you choose?"

"Hmm…" Misaki frowned. "Well, I mean, I would forgive him if he apologized!"

"Oi, Misaki," Saruhiko spoke from backstage. "Apologize for leaving you, or leaving HOMRA?"

Misaki glared. "Like you'd ever do either, you jerk!"

Which, of course, made everyone sigh again. "Next question, this is from Hitsumi Hikari. Would you be insulted if you were paired up with Fushimi-kun in fanfiction and fanart?"

"Paired…up…?" Misaki blinked, then blushed. "WHAT THE HELL! OF COURSE I WOULD! ME AND…AND…GAH IT'S TOO DISTURBING TO THINK ABOUT!"

"By the way, Yata-chan," Interviewer-san grinned. "Author-san actually ships SaruMi, so be glad she's in a good mood or this episode would have been full of 'disturbing' things…"

"NO WAY!"

"Alright, the next question is from Xiang Yun again. Please give us the details of how you and Fushimi-kun met."

"Ah, that guy was a transfer student to my middle school," Misaki answered. "He was a total nerd so he didn't really have any friends. And I didn't have any friends because I beat people up a lot, but at least that made them stay away from me. But there was this one time where some upperclassman idiot was picking on him, so I sort of helped him out…and then! This other time, that same bully-senpai tried to pick a fight with me as revenge, you know, and then Saru came out of nowhere and beat him up before I could even do anything. And then I asked him why he didn't defend himself like that before but he just said he'd been too bored to fight, and then the conversation went from there and the next thing I knew, we were friends. Emphasis on _were_."

Saruhiko clicked his tongue from the background.

"That's such a cute story," Interviewer-san squealed. "It's too bad you're so dense, Yata-chan!"

"Huh? That's what I keep saying, what do you mean…?"

"Forget I said anything," Interviewer-san turned her card. "Alright, the next set of questions is from Swirl-spill. Side note, Author-san actually read that as 'swirl pill' at first and had to do a double-take (LOL!). Their first question is: Why did you join HOMRA, and why are you so loyal to Mikoto-san?"

"I joined HOMRA because Kusanagi-san and the others offered!" Misaki grinned. "And why wouldn't I be loyal to Mikoto-san? Mikoto-san is awesome! He's the best! He doesn't even have to _blink _to beat the crap out of an entire gang! And…" Misaki trailed on and on, while Saruhiko clicked his tongue and abruptly left the room.

"Ah, poor Fushimi-kun…" Interviewer-san sweatdropped. "Anyway, Yata-chan, we're running out of time, here…question two: Did you quit school after joining HOMRA?"

"Yeah, I did," Misaki shrugged. "A lot of clansmen don't attend school anymore once they decide to serve their kings. From any clan."

"Hai. Question three: How is it that you became HOMRA's vanguard after just a few years there, even though you appear to be the youngest after Anna?"

"Hey! I resent that!" Misaki pouted. "Just because I'm not as tall as everyone doesn't mean I'm the youngest! Shohei is a year younger than me!" He huffed. "And don't underestimate me, either! Is it so strange for me to have awesome control over my powers!?"

Interviewer-san sweatdropped. "I don't think Swirl-spill meant anything by saying that, Yata-chan…anyway, question four: If Mikoto-san is really dead in season two, how would you cope with it?"

Misaki frowned. "I don't know," he finally answered. "I'd obviously be really sad about it, but I guess it would be fine as long as HOMRA stayed together…but I heard that there's a line in the script where Kusanagi-san goes, 'Don't be selfish, HOMRA is over.' and I guess that would be what would really hurt me." He sighed. "The other guys probably have a home or a family to return to. But for me…HOMRA is my family. So…"

Interviewer-san sniffed. "I completely understand…"

Author-san materialized from out of nowhere. "Yeah, Yata-chan, it _is _unfair! Why is it that the ones who share the best bonds always have to break apart?" she fumed. "I mean, who else among you readers totally felt like strangling every one of those Blues in episode 13 when they were all like, 'Look! It's the Chief! The Chief's alive!' I mean, why the heck are _they _the only ones whoget to be happy!? And what was with Awashima's sarcastic line when Saru came back? She was all like, 'I thought you'd joined up with your old buddies', ugh! It was so frustrating!"

"Author-san, you're getting off the point here…" Interviewer-san sweatdropped. "Anyway, next question. Were you called 'Misaki' a lot when you were younger?"

"Meh, I used to beat up everyone who called me that," Misaki stuck out his tongue. "I only allowed Saru to say it because I considered him a friend, the traitor." He fumed.

"Getting old, Yata-chan," Interviewer-san rolled her eyes. "So, the next set of questions is from LolyGothica again. Question one: If there was an instant heightening serum or hormone, would you drink it? And to what lengths would you go to obtain it?"

"Sure, I would!" Misaki's eyes widened enthusiastically. "And I'd pummel everyone that gets in my way to death!"

"There, there, Yata-chan, no need to feel so insecure about your height," Interviewer-san patted him on the head. "Author-san is sixteen years old and she's only 147 cm. True fact."

"For serious!?" Misaki stared at Author-san in the audience. "Wow. I thought I was short."

"WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE, MIDGET!?" Author-san glared.

"No time, Author-san, no time," Interviewer-san cut in hurriedly. "Anyway. Next question: What do you think of Yashiro now that you know he didn't really kill Totsuka-san?"

Misaki panicked. "Oh yeah…this is bad…I tried to murder the guy! Crap, isn't he the Silver King or something? He's not gonna take revenge, is he?"

"Don't worry, Yata-san!" Yashiro shouted with a smile from backstage. "It wasn't your fault at all! I'm totally used to almost being killed by now!"

Misaki sweatdropped. "I somehow get the feeling he and Totsuka-san would've gotten along well, ne…"

"Next question, this is from kharisma. It says, why are you so blind when it comes to relationships?"

Everyone sighed before Misaki could even say anything. "I don't think we should take the trouble of asking this one…"

"What the heck are all of you going on about…?" Misaki blinked.

"Nothing, nothing, next question, from Yanyan: how come you're not shy around Anna when she's a girl?"

"Because Anna's young, what the hell, I'd never think of her that way!" Misaki cut himself short. "Crap, I just indirectly admitted that I think about other girls that way, didn't I…?

Interviewer-san grinned. "Ah, naughty Yata-chan…that's why you don't talk to them, huh?"

"W-Whatever!" Misaki blushed. "Next question, please!"

"Alright, the next is a set of questions from M404, and Author-san has clubbed questions 2 and 3 together so that it's easier to answer. Your question is: Why are you so insensitive to Fushimi-kun's feelings?"

"Insensitive? Me!? That jerk has no feelings!" Misaki pointed an accusing finger at him. "If he did, he wouldn't have left! And what about how _I _felt? He didn't care about that, now, did he?"

"Oh, Yata-chan, you'll never get it…" Interviewer-san sighed. "Anyway. Next question: Do you have a child-like obsession with Mikoto-san?"

"If by that you mean admiration, yeah…"

"Next, what do you think about Yatogami Kuroh?"

"Well, since we're not enemies anymore, I'd say he's a good fighter," Misaki shrugged. "Would be nice to spar with him sometime."

"Ah, a set of questions from xXChild-of-DemonXx again! Author-san says welcome!" the audience clapped. "Question one: What was your relationship with Totsuka-san and Mikoto-san?"

"Well, with Mikoto-san, I really respect and look up at him!" Misaki announced with a grin. "And for Totsuka-san, well, he's always been a really easy person to get along with and so he was pretty close with everyone. I really appreciate them both!"

"We all do, we all do," Interviewer-san smiled. "Question two: What was your relationship with Fushimi-kun before he left HOMRA?"

"He was my best friend," Misaki said through gritted teeth. "Why are 90% of my questions all about that monkey, anyway!?"

"Because it's a sad love," Interviewer-san mock-sighed. "And _his _questions will probably be mostly about you, too. Next question: ah, xXChild-of-DemonXx wants to know why you keep saying 'don't hurt the ladies', are you implying that we are too weak to defend ourselves?"

Misaki blushed. "That's not it! I didn't mean that! I…um…I…"

Izumo shook his head. "Ah, don't try to explain yourself to an angry lady, Yata-chan…things will get ugly…"

"Anyway, since we would like minimum violence, let's move on!" Interviewer-san smiled cheerfully. "The next set of questions is from Klu891! First question: Will you still be able to talk to Anna when she grows older, or will she make you shy since she'll be a teenager?"

"Oi! Don't suggest things between me and Anna! What is wrong with you? She's a kid! Even if she was older she'd still be younger than me! Besides, I'd kill anyone that tried to flirt with her, anyway!"

Sounds of approval came from the other HOMRA members as well.

"No need to get so worked up," Interviewer-san shook her head. "Although the overprotective-ness is cute! Your final question, Yata-chan: Do you think you and Fushimi-kun could ever be friends again?"

Misaki seemed to space out after that. "Well…" he frowned. "…Anyway, even if I wanted that to happen, it's not like it will…"

Everyone sighed yet again. "A truly sad situation…anyway, thank you all for tuning in to yet another episode of the B3T, and we hope you've enjoyed yourselves! Fushimi Saruhiko will be joining us in the next episode, so send in your questions to him and make sure to totally harass him into admitting you-know-what-Misaki-does-not! Till next time, this has been…"

"THE BLAH BLAH BLAH TALKSHOW!"


End file.
